Okay, that's actually a lie - I've always written poetry. Since as long as I can remember, and then I stopped. I just stopped. Who knows why. But until a few months ago, the last poem I wrote was my freshman year of college. Anyway, I decided to post a few ... and yes, it's all dark, I know, I know. I'm really not that dark a person, sometimes, though, it just happens.
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I will be completely honest, this is my all-time favorite. Watching the news prompted this one. Yeah, I was only 16 when I wrote it, it's sort of naive, but once you know I was 16, it make a little more sense.
Why? He found her lying on their bedroom floor, dead.
A knife in her heart, bruises and blood on her head.
“I should have been here,” was all he said.
The truth is while his wife was beat,
He met the other woman on a dark, lonely street.
In moments of passion he forgot about his wife,
As miles away, an intruder took her life.
Guilt is all that floods his head,
As his glass of colorless water turns blood red.
Dark clouds roll through the sky,
He can’t help but ask himself why.
He realizes if not for his mistakes, his wife would still be here.
He sits alone and down his cheek rolls a stream of tears.
He tries to count all the tears he’s cried,
And all his sleepless nights.
He doesn’t know what to do, where to go
Who’ll blame him, who’ll say no.
He write a few words, saying good-bye to the world, hello to his wife
As silently he takes his own life.
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This one was also when I was 16 and also prompted by the news. Someone was executed in Virginia (big shock!) and I decided to write a follow-up to "Why?" from the perspective of the guy who did it. A lot of people don't get the last line, and if you don't, that's fine. I accept the fact I was aiming for something cryptic and succeeded. (Side note: don't be surprised if you don't get it - only one other person has ever done so.)
What's Running Through My Mind
We all told the judge we didn’t do it,
It was the insanity that made us commit.
But he didn’t believe me on account of the knife,
So he sentenced me to lose my life.
I sat here in this jail cell for five grueling years,
My mind filled with hope and fears.
As my lawyers want to retry my case,
But the whole thing blew up in my face.
The new judge said this time I was going to die,
And he didn’t know why we gave it a try.
All the evidence pointed to me,
And that I didn’t show any signs of insanity.
They sentenced me to die tonight.
But as I take my last steps, I can’t look anyone in the eye.
They all ask what’s running through my mind.
This is all I have to say,
“I won’t do it next time.”
(Alright, the whole point of the last line was that there won't be a next time. So, yeah, too little, too late, sucker.)
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Ahhh, vicious hatred over men. Gotta love it.
Untitled
Rip it out
Trample it
Stomp it
Beat it to a pulp
It’s still yours
And always will be
Cut it into a thousand pieces
Scatter them in the wind
They’ll come back to find you
Because they’re yours
And always will be
The ghost
The memory
The questions
Follow you
Because it’s yours
And always will be
You can pretend all you want
It doesn’t exist
And you can escape
But you know when you look in your heart
You see mine
Because it’s yours
And always will be.
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Here's a new one - every once in awhile I get this great idea that I can write a song. Not that I have the ability to write music OR sing, but hey, what's so hard about throwing together some rhymes to a melody? And coming up with a good hook? And making it be about something people want to hear or can relate to? Or can evoke emotion in three minutes? Yeah, not quite as easy as the first thought makes it out to be. This is one of those pathetic attempts ...
29 Again
They all shouted surprise as I walked in
To celebrate the 30th time the Earth circled the sun again
I opened presents, enjoyed time with my friends
Out came my cake, bearing more candles than I cared to see
I blew them out on the count of three
My sweet little niece looked at me
Eyes sparkling, asked what my birthday wish will be
I look around the room and sigh
"I want to be 29"
Before I lost a job I loved because the company collapsed
Before my car got totaled, my apartment ransacked
Before the man of my dreams became a nightmare
Before I gave up hope of a loving God who cares
The room fell silent, as no one expected that –
They thought I’d wish for a new car, not my old life back.
I get a hug from everyone as they leave, with tears in their eyes
When the frail, old neighbor woman came up from behind
She smiled and said, “Girl, you’re going to learn in time
It’s not worth wishing the good times to come back
He was just teaching you how to get your life on track.
You learned not to drive too fast,
And to cherish love, no matter how long it lasts
How easy it is to take a job for granted –
It all taught you about the great things you had
Good friends, good times, the ability to move on
If I were you, I’d be thankful for life’s little lessons.”
It wasn’t even a year later,
That little old lady went to meet her maker
At friends and family gathered at her funeral
I stood up to tell
How she changed my world view
Showing me what I lived before wasn’t the truth.
She taught me that I drove to fast,
To cherish love, no matter how long it lasts
How easy it is to take a job for granted
About all the great things I had
Good friends, good times, and the ability to move on
Most of all, I thank her for being able to identify life’s lessons.
Good friends, good times, and the ability to move on
Walking away taking the most from each one of life’s lessons.
