Yeah, there's an app for that

David Pogue Allegedly Hits Wife With iPhone
If you’re like me, you’re asking, “who the hell is David Pogue?” Well … good thing for you, I did the extremely arduous (hehehe) task of looking him up on Wiki, and he’s a writer for NYT. Still don’t know if that makes him worthy enough of a headline with his name in it or not, though.
 
There is definitely not an app for allegedly bonking your soon-to-be ex-wife in the head with your iPhone.
You sure? Quick, to the Android Market, bet there’s one for Android. What more do you people want to prove Android is superior?

Annnnnd, just for fun, since I brought up the Android vs. iPhone thing, here’s the video. You know you’ve seen it before, but you know you want to watch it again. Because “now I’m dead, my cat is now homeless.” (Just for you, Jasmine.)



And the story only gets stranger from there.
We can only hope so.

Both New York Time technology columnist David Pogue and his wife, Jennifer Pogue, have been charged with disorderly conduct following a "boisterous argument," according to Jennifer Pogue's attorney.
Are you sure it was an argument and not just foreplay?

Wouldn’t a technology columnist know better than to use his iPhone as a weapon? That shit’s expensive. Of course, he probably didn’t pay for it, what’s he care? So long as Steve Jobs sends him a new one, iPhone5 will get a good review in NYT. I can see it now: “iPhone5 is not only faster, but more rugged and will definitely leave a mark when you smack your bitch around, so be careful where you leave your marks, guys.”

The fight between the Pogues began this past Monday, when Jennifer Pogue visited the family's Westport, Connecticut home on a night that Pogue claims was his for visitation rights. The Pogues, parents of three, are currently going through divorce proceedings. As a result, they've established a custody arrangement for their children and currently live in separate locations. Jennifer Pogue was allegedly returning from vacation and looking to pick up her three children at the house.
Elitist reporter note: This paragraph is nothing more than an editing fail. I can’t even begin to count the number of offenses. Just know it’s bad.

An argument allegedly began between the two, and Jennifer Pogue pulled out her iPhone to record the proceedings. David Pogue allegedly began struggling with Jennifer Pogue for the device and, when he wouldn't let go, David Pogue says that Jennifer Pogue bit him on the arm.
She bit you? I ask again, are you sure this wasn’t foreplay?

New York is one of 38 states in which conversations can be recorded so long as one person knows it is being taped. So, this is where we have to blame Jennifer for not being more smooth about it. Had you just managed to play it off like you were checking your texts or whatever, you may never have been in this situation.

Honestly, how many women can successfully play “keep away” with something against a man (besides sex) and win? The only woman I know who can do that is my friend Jason’s sister and that’s because she’s over six feet tall.

According to Jennifer Pogue, David Pogue followed her into one of the family's bedrooms and jumped on top of her and hit her on the head with the iPhone.
Okay, wait, dude, you have her phone in your hand, so you still chase her down and beat her with her own phone? What the hell? Why didn’t you just take the phone and run? Idiot.

Police, after being summoned to the scene, did not take the iPhone for evidence in the case. However, Westport police captain Sam Arciola said that the recording does, "[substanciate] some of the claims," according a report by the Stamford Advocate.
Grammar Nazi note: Am I the only one who is worried that the cops can’t spell substantiate correctly? (Yes, the fact it’s in brackets proves it’s an actual misspelling from the report and not the author of the article.)

Furthermore, they didn’t take the iPhone for evidence? Wow, the cops in Westport blow like the one I dealt with who knows who stole my stuff but still hasn’t talked to her – just her grandma. You lazy bum.

It's unclear which side of the story—if not both—is corroborated by the iPhone's video. However, David Pogue and Jennifer Pogue showed injuries of the alleged assaults: David Pogue had a bite mark present on his arm and Jennifer Pogue had marks on her head, according to Arciola.
The report doesn’t say? So the cops can’t spell substantiate or identify which side of the story is corroborated? Damn, they really do suck.

Both Pogues appeared in Norwalk Superior Court the day after the squabble. Both received protective orders prohibiting each from assaulting, harassing, or stalking the other, and the case was continued to June 22.
Do they really need protective orders? Aren’t there laws against assaulting, harassing and/or stalking people?

"Obviously divorces can get emotional and we expect David to be cleared of this charge in due time," said David Pogue's lawyer, Mark Sherman.
Because his lawyer’s really going to say otherwise. “Uh, yeah, the bitch deserved to get much worse.”