You don't need to click the link, really, the story is short enough that I've included the whole thing here - just mainly linked to prove I didn't make it up.
Boise police have arrested a 74-year-old woman linked to dumping corn syrup, ketchup, maple syrup and other liquids into a library drop box on as many as 10 occasions.
Let’s look at this one a little bit, okay – why on earth would someone do that unless they were (a) crazy, (b) severely pissed-off, or (c) both. I’m going to go with (c) for $1000, please Alex.
I mean, really, would Mrs. Butterworth approve of this? Surely not. She probably shoved Mrs. Butterworth down the chute just to shut her up. Here’s a hint lady, when the syrup bottles start talking to you, you’re not in a commercial, you’ve lost your happy mind.
Now, could she have been pissed off about being on the waiting list for the Twilight series forever? I doubt it. I mean, come on, she tossed ketchup down there, and if anyone knows anything, it’s that good things come to those who wait.
The Idaho Statesman says Joy Cassidy was arrested Sunday at a police stakeout at the Ada Community Library parking lot for allegedly dropping an open jar of mayonnaise into the receptacle.
Uh huh, and there’s nothing better for the Boise PD to do than have a stakeout at the library to find out who made an old, worn-out copy of The DaVinci Code smell like rotten eggs.
Okay – reporter moment – why is this allegedly? If this was a stakeout, they saw her do it. There’s no allegedly to it. Sure, she may not have gone to court over it yet (obviously, she skipped it, but she pled guilty for cripes’ sake). Just say she was arrested for dropping an open jar of mayonnaise into the receptacle and stop being all wishy-washy and PC about it. You can’t get sued for libel over it, she did it, she admitted it, and you’re not doing it with malicious intent. You’re good. For once, enjoy the fact you don’t have to pepper your story with allegedly, dammit. It’s so rare when reporters get to do that, you should embrace it.
Police describe her as a "person of interest" in 10 other cases of condiment-related vandalism at the library.
Oh, yeah, because there are more people whacked out enough to throw condiments in the book drop? Come on now, let’s be honest, she’s the only lead they’ve got.
After failing to appear in court on Monday, Cassidy turned herself in to police and was again arrested, the newspaper says.
She has been charged with malicious injury to property and carrying a concealed weapon without a permit. The gun was found under the seat of her car, police say.
Malicious injury to property? Really? She just thought the books were having a picnic and condiments were necessary. Come on now, she thought she was helping.
As for the gun, I got nothing. Someone whacked out enough to throw condiments down the library chute really does not need a gun. Concealed or open-carry, I don’t care, she doesn’t need one. What she needs is a straight-jacket. (And no access to condiments.)
Police say they have not yet determined a motive for the alleged vandalism.
I’ve been there, the motive is simple. There’s nothing better to do in Boise.
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