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| Not gonna lie, first thing that went through my mind when I saw this was "The Shining." |
A FATHER locked his 21-year-old son in a tiny wooden BOX — as punishment for stealing chickens.
I’m not really sure what I have the biggest problem with here – the fact guy decided to punish his 21-year old son, the fact he did it by cramming him into a wooden box, or the fact he did it because his son stole chickens?
In the basement of his home in Santa Cruz, Bolivia, Johan Knelsen lived in the 10ft-by-6ft filing cabinet-style cage for eight weeks before police arrived.
Wait, wait, wait … he was “punished” for eight weeks? For two months? Holy crap. Even when I got grounded when I was a kid, a month was the most I ever got. So he was in the basement - I hope it wasn't during the rainy season, because being stuck in a box in a flooded basement would really suck.
I love the wording here, “before police arrived.” Uh, yeah, well, why’d they show up? Did someone tip them off? How long would this have gone on had the police not freed him?
His father, David Knelsen, a Canadian, told authorities his son was mentally ill and needed punishing for taking three chickens.
Alright, I’m going to avoid the obvious here – his kid’s “mentally-ill.” We all know the “right” thing to say and the “right” thing to do.
Okay, he stole three chickens. Why is three so important? Why wasn’t it just “punishing him for stealing chickens?” I mean, had it been just two, would he have only gotten a month in the box? If it was just one, he would have given him a hug and thanked him for dinner?
Alright, so the kid steals, you lock him in a box. Sheesh, I don’t even want to think about what this guy would do if the kid raped a girl or something.
Local media reported Johan was also in his father's bad books for using a phone.
Hehehe, “bad books” is funny. In America that’s called the shit list.
Um, maybe he needed to phone to beg someone to free him from his psychotic father.
The family is part of a certain Mennonite denomination which strictly interprets the Bible and shuns the use of technology.
Where in the Bible does it say, “thou shalt not use thy cell phone” or “thou shalt not friend anyone but Jesus on Facebook?”
When Johan was released from the box, police found it crammed with pillows and urine-filled bottles.
Johan said: "I went out, and when I came back they were angry with me here at home. Some people tied me up and put me in here, eight weeks ago.
Well, let’s at least give his dad credit for giving him pillows and bottles for his urine.
Wait a second, his dad wants to punish his kid but he can’t even do the dirty work, he’s got to get people tie his son up? You really are stellar dad material.
"I ate and slept here. I did everything here. I ate and drank water and washed here."
Well, duh, if you were in there for eight weeks, you did everything here. We get it, Captain Obvious.
Of course, if he had slipped you a little pot or LCD, the box could have been more interesting. (Hey, don’t judge for the drug jokes, and old episode of “That 70s Show” is on in the background.)
The prosecution lawyer handling the case said locking someone up like that was against the law.
No shit, Sherlock. Damn, that law school you went to really taught you good, didn’t they?
Ever Merida added: "It is not permitted that a boy is physically and psychologically tortured inside a jail. It is in total violation of Bolivian law."
It’s in total violation of the Geneva Convention. Okay, well, maybe not, but it sounded good. But come on, it’s common sense. Only the cops are able to physically and psychologically torture people inside a jail.
Under orders from police, Johan's father opened the box and helped the young man to his feet.
Somehow I have my doubts Johan gave him a big hug and told him he loved him.
There are dozens of Mennonite settlements in the rich lowlands of eastern Bolivia.
And they are all bat-shit crazy too.
In 2009, eight men from a Mennonite community where arrested in Bolivia and accused of raping at least 60 women in their farming settlement.
See, bat-shit crazy. Obviously the Mennonites aren’t all there, and do things that are against the law all the time. If I had my druthers, I’d rather the Mennonites steal a couple chickens as opposed to abusing children and gang banging women. But, hey, you know what they say – what happens in the Mennonite settlement stays in the Mennonite settlement.
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