Car accident - $100K in damages, accident caused by a cat - priceless

Not the actual accident, but good nonetheless.

Ont. teen crashed car while texting, picking up cat: police

Okay, let's start with that headline - it's just awkward. I understand what they are getting at, but it should start with "Police:" instead of ending with it. It's awkward either way, to be honest, but the way it is now, if you just glance at it, it sort of makes it seem like she crashed a car while texting, picking up a cat and picking up police.

A 17-year-old woman police suspect of texting and trying to corral a pet while driving has been charged after an accident that caused more than $100,000 in damage this week.
Well, hey, so many of us never get the chance to take advantage of the crazy insurance rates we pay – she’s getting her money’s worth. Besides, let’s look on the bright side, her driving can only improve, right?

Police in Barrie, Ont. — about 90 kilometres north of Toronto — say the young woman was driving at a high rate of speed when she lost control of her vehicle Monday night. Police said the vehicle hit another car that was parked in a driveway, propelling it into a boat, which was pushed into a house and neighbour's car.
Is it just me, or are you dying to see a recreation of this accident? I know I’d love to see it. You know, come to think of it, that would make an awesome flip book. Someone who can draw stick figures over and over again in nearly the same positions – go! Hey, I’d settle for an animated gif. Go!

Police said it's believed the young driver was texting on a cellphone and attempting to pick up a cat that was in the car with her when the accident occurred.
Are we sure the cat wasn’t driving? I mean, did SNL in the 90s teach us nothing?



The driver was treated in hospital for minor injuries, police said.
Minor injuries, really? I’d like to know if the cat survived, to be honest. Why didn’t the cat get another mention? What’s up with the feline discrimination, anyway?

She has been charged with careless driving.
Really, that’s all? How about animal abuse (if that cat survived, you know it’s even more neurotic than it already was before)? Or dumbassery? Yes, only on my blog would I make up words like that. You’re welcome.