The wonders at Wal-Mart never cease...

So, Munchkin and I go to Wal-Mart because it got cold and rainy and my sinuses are killing me. Off to get off-brand NyQuil (don't judge me, I'm broke, okay?).

All I have is the Equate Cherry-Flavored NiteTime Cold and Flu relief and I'm ready to check out. The Express lane has like 20 people in it and I don't feel like dealing with that. I find a lane with one lady with half a cart of groceries. I figure it's a half a cart of groceries, surely it will go faster than 20 derelicts in the other lane.

Note to self: Don't EVER think that again.

First of all, I managed to get in the lane with the biggest retard running the register. I mean, seriously, his IQ was only a point over the minimum allowed to be hired at Wal-Mart (and believe me, that isn't high). So he's slow as all get out - and he manages to scan some things multiple times so he has to go back and fix it.

I see the woman ahead of me writing, so I figure she's signing a check. Well, she was, but not exactly how I expected. What she handed him wasn't a personal check - no, it was a Social Security Check.

It should come as no surprise that Retard Boy didn't know what to do, so he waves for a CSM to come over and help. She hits a few buttons, and magically the transaction goes through. On the computer screen I see "Change $1,170.36." ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME???

Retard Boy doesn't think he has enough cash in the drawer, so the CSM looks at his drawer and tells him he has enough. She counts out $950 in 50 dollar bills, and then counts out the rest in 20 dollar bills.

She leaves. Retard Boy starts counting out the $1,170.36 in change, but screws up somewhere along the line and has to start over again. REALLY???

Finally, she has her $1,170.36, Retard Boy started scanning my stuff, and then tried to scan items of the people behind me (because was there an order separator, no way, that would make too much sense). Social Security lady almost forgot two of her bags - canned peas and buttermilk, definitely not something I would have wanted to inherit from her. I'd prefer her $1, 170.36.