Will it Melt? Summer 2011

If you’ve been reading my blog for awhile, or you ever got bored and flipped through the archives, you may have stumbled across one of my favorite posts, “Will It Melt?”

Guess what? It’s summertime again, so here we go – more inadvertent science experiments in my Mazda.

Credit Cards Yes, Virginia, credit cards will do all sorts of funky things when left in the heat. Surely I jest. Umm, no. Take a look. And these were in a flat wallet, not some goofy trifold I wear in my back pocket (because, well, um, I have boobs, so I carry a purse).

So, here’s where you say, “right, they are just old cards.” Nope, wrong again. I just got these a month ago, after the whole wallet-stolen-from-right-behind-me debacle.

Yep, all of that happened in a month’s time. So much so the one won’t even scan anymore. Le sigh. 

Rice Krispie Treats This is where you say, “duh.” I mean, they are Rice Krispies and marshmallow. Of course it melts. But that’s only part of this science experiment.

First, why do I have a Rice Krispie treat in my car? Zaxby’s includes them in their kid’s meals, and I’ve been known to get kid’s meals at fast food places. So I went to get lunch one day, and threw it in the console, to give to Munchkin. But I forgot about it.

So I open my console and see the package has ballooned. Like, I know, scientifically, it’s because when it’s hot, the particles are farther apart or heat makes things expand or some scientific shit like that. (Where’s Jason when I need him?) But come on, would you want to eat anything out of a package that looks like that? I mean, we’re taught that when cans explode, we should expect to hallucinate, vomit and/or die after eating the contents.

Of course I opened it after that. Wouldn’t you? I couldn’t even hold it up without it starting to fall apart. Look closely in the picture, you’ll see sunlight through it. I was entirely lucky to get that picture before it landed in my lap. Appetizing.

Petroleum Jelly This one requires some ‘splaining too, doesn’t it? No, I didn’t have it in the car for when I’m feeling frisky and want to have car sex. (Truth be told, I’ve never had car sex. But that’s another issue or another day.) I bought it on the way to get my last tattoo which didn’t happen because my tattoo guy had his appendix out two days before and no one called to tell me. Because the tattoo didn’t happen, I forgot to take it inside, and it ended up in the heat of my glove compartment.

My glove compartment ended up covered in petroleum jelly (nevermind the fact my child found it and got it EVERYWHERE). But then I held it up and it just flowed like water. See the picture? Yeah, I’m not squeezing, I just held it upside down.

Sonic mints No, these don’t melt. I have a TON of these in my car. I get them every time I go through the Sonic drive-thru to get a cherry limeade, and I can’t very well throw them back at the idiots in the window, so they just accumulate in my car. These damn things don’t melt. They don’t go away. In fact, I think they could survive the apocalypse. (Then again, we all survived the apocalypse on May 21, so that may not be saying anything.)