Saturday, April 23, 2011

Review: The Tourist

See that tagline on the poster? "The perfect trip, the perfect trap." LIARS!!!!!!! There is NOTHING perfect about this movie.

Look, I love me some long-haired, disheveled Johnny Depp as much as my best friend ... and I love me some Paul Bettany, and to have them in the same movie - that should be sheer happiness (like, Paul Bettany and Heath Ledger in the same movie-type happiness), but it's not. Sadly, not even the deliciousness of Johnny Depp and Paul Bettany can save this giant crap waste of my life.

Angelina Jolie, she was pretty - as always. I mean, she's a gorgeous individual, you can't deny it. (Strange, though, she may be.) But again, I divert to my original argument, that hotness cannot make up for the lack of plot, how boring it is, and how crappy the twist ends up being. Whatever.

Do yourself a favor, watch it with the sound muted. I bet the plot's way better that way.

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